Mmm-k so i have a question, a few questions actually, to be answered by AMPL, and P2, and anyone else who would like to, please do. I'll answer them also, don't be alarmed.
1. When you aren't thinking about anything else, what are the top three things, ideas, topics etc. that invade your thoughts, and how does each one make you feel?
2. When is the last time you felt really proud of yourself, and why?
3. What are your top two worries of the moment?
4. What is the next big thing/things you are looking forward to?
Ok - here goes
1. - a#1 - men, past, present, future, yes it's true, shocker. mostly the past and future ones. recently it has been more of a "where are they?" type thought, and a "what do i really want/need, anyway?" as opposed to thinking about any one or multiple guys that do not exist at the moment. this makes me feel curious, and sometimes sad, but not as much as maybe it wold have in the past, at this point it makes me feel more annoyed than anything, because i'm not dating much, so why think about it, i've got so much other stuff going on. it's a brain sucker thought topic and i don't like it all that much. a#2 - money, this makes me feel stressed. a#3 - you guys, and phil, and your kids, and mom and dad. i'll just replay favorite moments i've had with your munchkies, or wonder how you're doing, or day dream about the fam reunion coming up. this makes me feel happy.
2. - there was a conflict at work the other day, one of the staff and i clashed a bit in dealing with a student. i've been trying to be better at dealing with conflict, i've been reading some about it, and one of the things i've been learning is that most people assume that the best way to deal with conflict is to walk away from it. let it go, don't deal with it. come to find out it is actually the exact opposite. you have to walk toward the conflict if you ever want it to go away, and in fact the more quickly you walk toward it and deal with it, the less impact it will have, and the sooner you can move forward and feel good. so i called him and asked him to come talk to me. i was super nervousi tried to listen and find out what was going on with him, and then i tried to let him know what i needed. it heightened a bit and i could tell he was getting more upset, and he was getting ready to end the conversation. usually i think i would have let it end, because it was uncomfortable and not going the way i had hoped. instead i said that i wanted to be able to really understand, and asked more questions, and risked him getting more angry. it was touch and go for a bit, but we got to the heart of it, and were able to leave in a good place. i know that doesn't seem like a big deal, but i was pretty proud of myself for sticking it out. it paid off.
3. - money, clinical exam in June, the looming summer months ahead and the fact that my waist line isn't cooperating, grrrr.
4. - august 4th - 11th!!!
now - i want some answers!
xoxo