Listen Up

Ho-k, so I may, or may not have come home from work today and totally passed out...for four hours! That's right, out at five, up at nine, drool on the pillow. I think my body was trying to tell me something. I'm just not sure what it was.

Moving on...

I've decided that my job is teaching me some very excellent skills in the non-defensive approach to life,
for example;

Question: What do you say when some one puts together an array of colorful words you have never heard all at once before, and then lobs them at you with much force and conviction?

Answer: "I hear what you're saying, how can I help?"

Question: How do you react when someone randomly calls you a #^$%@, and flips you off as you walk past them in the hallway?

Answer: Smile! They are probably having a really bad day.

Question: What do you do when a person says "Hey, are you OK?" and you say "Yes. why?" and they say "Oh, ok, your hair just looks really bad today."

Answer: "Well yes, it probably does, I'll look into that, thanks for your concern. How are things?"  

I almost don't even think about it anymore, these validating words just flow out of me. The more caustic the offense, the more calm and collected I am. Outside of work, I try to be in that sweet spot where I let myself believe if someone is all red in the face, scrappy, or condescending, that it's, well, not about me. More so, as I was saying to Abby earlier, when we were doing this:

Google+ Hang Out - Abby is the snorkeling astronaut, in case you were wondering. You can figure out for yourselves who the maniacal banker is.

I said, "Abs, I'm trying to be better about letting people have thoughts, (not that I can stop them, but you know what I mean) you know? Not, these people are having thoughts, and I don't care, or these people are having thoughts and it must say something about me, just plain old, someone is having a thought, and I'm listening." Revelatory, I know, but it's working for me right now. I'll let you know if the process becomes more sophisticated than this. It probably won't.

In fact the more I think about it, God's whole plan about us having to listen really really hard if we want to hear what he has to say about our thoughts is rather ingenious for both parties: A#1 We can't hear His initial thoughts about our thoughts, because He probably has some funny/irreverent thoughts about what we think, because we don't know much, and those might not be too helpful. A#2 Usually if you don't get what you want right away, in this instance feedback, you tend to want it more, and try harder, and it means more to you when you get it. It's the same with us right? If I shut-up and listen for two seconds, I can avoid saying dumb, unhelpful stuff, and maybe actually get what the person is trying to say, and where they are coming from. Yes.

Very deep stuff. So, wish me luck on Plan "Everyone Has Thoughts, You should Listen More" I think it is going to continue to be quite enlightening.

Thoughts, anyone?

E-

P.S. I may have post-postage remorse on this one, because it was pretty random, and free flowish, but sometimes that's how I roll, we've all been rather random this week, anyway eh? Except for P, who has just not been present. Postage please, Pants.